Wednesday, August 25

Debate this!

It's high time we had a bit of lively discussion on here. I am working on an essay/article about the relationship between love and sex. Here's my premise(I don't know if the formatting will turn out weird; if so, I apologize):

I. Abstinence programs have some of the right ideas, but they are fatally flawed.

II. The surrounding culture assumes that if you love someone, then you express it through sex.
A. This leads to difficulty in maintaining close male/female friendships, because any loving feelings get interpreted as sexual desire.
B. It also leads to widespread promiscuity, because most people deeply love more than one person over the course of their lives.
C. This leads, as well, to increased homosexual behaviour, since one can deeply love a member of the same gender.

III. Abstinence programs simply tell kids to wait to express love; they do not challenge the basic flawed assumptions. They appear to agree that love equals sex.

My (current) concluding paragraph of the article: "We assume that lifelong celibates are cold and loveless (and perhaps not quite right in the head!). We fear expressing our love to our close friends, for fear that our actions will be 'misinterpreted.' We have forgotten that 'true love casts out fear.'We have been too fearful, and we must now learn to love again."


benphlemb said...

having never been part of an abstinence program save that administered by UoD (University of Dad), i can't say whether or not they are fatally flawed. but if that's the case, it makes sense. it can also be generalized that if you just tell people(kids) what to do/not do without explaining the reasons to them there is less likelihood of the directive being followed.

are you writing for the symposium?

Aegialia said...

In addition, most abstinence programs effectively say, "Sex is bad!! Sex is bad!!" which, in point of fact, it isn't. So you end up either with kids who say, "Sex isn't bad...see, I do it all the time and gee it's fun!" or "Sex is bad...but I want to get married...and then I have to have sex...but then it's supposed to be good...I'm confused!!!" They should teach that sex is Good, and True, and Beautiful, and all that, but that that's only true if you do it in the right context, etc., etc., etc.