Thursday, May 5

Stolen from Liz's blog, who stole it from K. White, who stole it from.....You get the idea. I also stole some of the answers from Liz because they were good answers, and I'm just lazy like that.

100 questions

1. Full Name: If you don't know this, and you're reading my blog, I'm not telling you
2. Nick name: Joi, Joy-to-the-Weaver, Joyful, Hey You
4. Place of Birth: Fort Worth, Texas
5. Zodiac Sign: Cancer
6. Male or Female: guess
7. Grade: A
8. School: Biola
9. Occupation: cashier, research assistant, librarian
10. Location: Los Angeles, baby!
11. Screen Names: B8tsyJoi, tinidril_of_perelandra, Lone Jedi

12. Hair Color: hair...Not sure what you'd call this.
13. Hair Length: almost to my waist. Woo! Just a few more feet to go!
14. Eye Color: Even my optometrist cannot answer this. Grayish-greenish-blue.
15. What eye color would you want: purple. But I'm kinda starting to really like the current color of my eyes.
16. Height: 5'6"?
17. What height would you rather be: I like my height, actually. I can reach most top shelves, but most guys are still taller than me. A happy medium.
18. Shoe Size: What are these "shoes" of which you speak?
19. Braces: nope
20. Glasses: When I'm not wearing my contacts
21. Piercings: ears
22. Tattoos: I have an allergy to metal, and possibly to ink as well. Not going to risk it. Besides, I'd get bored with an unchangeable design. It's all about the henna, baby.
23. Righty or Lefty: Mostly righty, but my left hand is pretty talented.

24. What was the question? I don't know, but I'm sure the answer was 42!
((Where did question 25 go?))
26. First best friend: Probably the kid next door in Ft. Worth. I've forgotten his name...Shane, I think?
27. First Award: For best Bible memory, in VBS, when I was about 5. Wow. That was a while back.
28. First Sport You Joined: archery
29. First Pet: a very tolerant black and white cat
30. First Vacation: not a clue.
31. First Concert: Oh gosh, do I have to admit it? Carman. Yeah. Well, depends on what kind of concert you mean. Our town sponsored Community Concerts with unknown artists, and I went to lots of those as a kid.
32. First Love: see #26.

33. Movie: I can't pick just one!!! But if I had to....yeesh...Maybe Lord of the Rings? Maybe?
34. TV Show: Tough call between Firefly, Babylon 5, Futurama, the Simpsons, King of the Hill, Stargate, and Alias.
35. Color: the richest purple imaginable
36. Bands: Five Iron Frenzy, Leftover Salmon, Nickelback, Horustorus, getting to like Blind Guardian
37. Song: ?? Just one?? not a chance. (current favorite might be We Used to Be Friends, by the Dandy Warhols)
38. Food: dunno
39. Drink: dunno
40. Candy: yeesh, specializaton is for insects! Vive Variety!
41. Sport To Play: archery
42. Sport To Watch: baseball
43. Brand Of Clothing: Joi Weaver originals
44. Store: Art Supply Warehouse. Or Borders. Or Savers
45. School Subject: depends on the specific class and the teacher. Torrey in general, I guess...Classics.
46. Animal: Dragon and unicorn!
47. Book: Not a chance in hell of me picking just one. Not even within a genre. Not even a favorite genre!


49. Eating: Nothing. The librarians would shoot me.
50. Drinking: Nothing. See above.
51. Typing: umm........
53. Listening To: Joy to the World, by Three Dog Night ( *busts out singing* "Jeremiah was a bullfrog!")
54. Thinking About: Um...How many skips I have left on Launchcast radio at the moment....
55. Wanting To: SLEEP
56. Watching: my cursor move across the screen as I type this
57. Wearing: Don't you wish you knew! (Black tank top, black "goth sleeves", long green swishy skirt made from a tablecloth, black slip-on shoes, burgundy squashy hat)


58. Want Kids: maybe
59. Want to Get Married: I'm fine with either getting married or being single
60. Careers in Mind: research assistant


67. Cute or Sexy: Cute.
68. Lips or Eyes: eyes
69. Hugs or Kisses: Again, what's with this having to choose??
70. Short or Tall: Tall. Short people have WAY too much energy
71. Easygoing or serious: both
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: Yes
73. Fatty or Skinny: I don't much care, but I seem to fall for skinny geeks quite a bit.
74. Sensitive or Loud: Who says the two are mutually exclusive?
75. Hook-up or Relationship: relationship
76. Sweet or Caring: caring
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: Both.


78. Kissed a Stranger: no
79. Drank Alcohol: yes
80. Smoked: nope
81. Ran Away From Home: nope
82. Broken a Bone: no
83. Got an X-ray: several times, for my teeth
84. Broke Up With Someone: no
85. Broken Someone's Heart: not that I know of
86. Turned Someone Down: nope
87. Cried When Someone Died: I think so....
88. Cried At School: yes


89. God: yes
90. Miracles: yes
91. Love At First Sight: that's a little more complex...I think so...
92. Ghosts: Sort of
93. Aliens: Yes, actually.
94. Soul Mates: um...not sure...lots of little red Symposium flags go up when I hear the term....
95. Heaven: yes
96. Hell: yes
98. Kissing on The First Date: ???? How is this a thing to believe in????
99. Horoscopes: nope, but they're a hoot to read!


100. Is There Someone You Want Right Now But Cant Have? Um...Don't know about "can't," per se.....

Wednesday, May 4

The Wolf Spirit
You scored 730 Spirit!
You are a Wolf Spirit. You feel you are connected with the cosmos, and are fascinated by the moon. You are very agile. Wolf spirits have a lot of friends, and are very smart.
And here we go again...

Yeah, still dealing with my friends leaving. Some days I do ok with it, some days not so much so. But it was a good bit of comfort to discuss it with my spiritual director the other day. While talking with her, I finally grew convinced of something. Even now, it seems weird and prideful to say this, but I think it's true.

I used to think that I shouldn't have abandonment issues, since my parents never divorced and my mom stayed at home with myself and my sister. Usually it's kids whose parents have split up or worked constantly that have these issues, so I've always assumed I was just kidding myself. But maybe it's healthy to admit that I have these issues, rather than continually denying them, assuming that I shouldn't have them. If I have these issues, then they're there, regardless of how they got there.

I am so tired of friends leaving. They always leave. When I was little, all my friends moved away from Fort Worth; I was the last one to leave. We moved to Hereford, and went to First Baptist church there. I made friends and enjoyed it. Then we started going to another church, and I didn't see my friends after that. My best friend, the pastor's daughter, never spoke to me again. After a few years at the other church, we switched back, and I began to make friends again. The previous church had been terrible, and I was horribly lonely. The youth pastor and his wife at FBC were wonderful people, and did a lot to make me feel welcome. Then, just over a year after moving back to that church, we moved to Dumas, and I lost all my friends over again. I never made too many friends in Dumas, I was too odd, and wasn't particularly acceptable. Of the friends I did make, I rarely speak to any of them.

I came to college and made a new group of friends. Who, for some reason, decided to stop talking to me and including me about 2 years later. So I made another group of friends. Who stabbed me in the back, and decided that I wasn't worth talking to when I wasn't of any use. So I moved to another group of friends, who are all now leaving. They say they'll stay in contact, but I have my doubts. Actually, the doubts are all I have. I simply don't believe that it's true. I've seen what happens to college friendships when you no longer live close by: the other person becomes just a name on a mass-produced Christmas letter that you get in February. If they're an especially good friend, you might see a little hand-written note at the bottom of the mass-produced letter.

Bitter? Yeah, a little. I think what gets to me the most is this: In Torrey, one of the big focuses is community. So everybody learns the importance of community, and blathers about it nonstop, about how they're going to build community in the areas they move to...But no-one stays to preserve the community here. I'm not saying that everyone has to stay--that would be a bit counter-productive. But it seems like no-one stays. And I know that my priorities are different from other people's: the other day, one of my friends mentioned that there's nothing for her here anymore, except church and a few friends. Church and a few friends are my main reasons for staying here, so that reply caught me a little off-guard.

And this post is now far too long, so I'll stop here.