Tuesday, April 13

More posts from the weekend:

I have gone against my rebellious artistic training, and done something outrageous, something I never thought possible: I have become a sheep.

For the first time, I am beginning to see what it means to have a pastor, a shepherd. For most of my life, I have not done well in churches; I just never seemed to fit. I don't fit in at my current church, in one sense, because there is no "fit". There is, in one sense, nothing to be done in order to fit. Each parishoner is loved for himself. This love has no basis in how much (or little) he sins, or tithes, or participates. He is loved, because God loves him.

I never thought I would trust another human being to guide my religious thought. After all, I am a free, rational being. The Holy Spirit will guide me into all knowledge, right? But I have found that not only can I allow myself to be guided, but I must. If I myself am the final word on my faith, then it is no bigger than I am. If I trusted only in myself to shape my soul, I would believe only in myself (in the Chestertonian sense). So I listen to my eartly shepherd, and to shepherds who came before, all of whom reflect my Heavenly Shepherd, and submit myself to the guiding of the Shepherd's staff. And He leadeth me by still waters.


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