Coming soon:
Pictures!!
Yes, I actually allowed my friend Andrea to take pictures of me. I will be posting the good ones on here soon.
Saturday, September 3
Wednesday, August 31
Thursday, August 25
Ok, so I've decided to go ahead and post this one...Please give me your comments on it; so far, most of the people who've read it have cried, which is interesting. I'm less sure of myself on this one, but I think it's a better story than the first one. --Joi
Story II:
So many here now, so many children saved from darkness into light. I still wait for them at the gates: many think that a grand, white-bearded man guards the gates, but it is only my husband and myself. We wait for ourchildren to arrive, and now, instead of grieving for those who join us, we rejoice, and welcome them with tears of joy. But still...before, in the shadows, all of our children came, and if we grieved for their presence, at least we saw them. But now we see only some: we are told that the others fall into shadow still.
I do not weep for them: I understand that children must be free to choose. But oh, is there a mother whose heart is not pierced when her children choose their own destruction?
And one day--though all times are one--the last of my children came. I welcomed them with open arms and tears of joy--these I am free to weep over-- and my husband and I begged their pardon. All was joy and gladness, and yet...I still thought of the ones--my babies!--still in shadow.
Then I was called. "The Mother awaits you in the Garden," I was told. But how can this be, since I am The Mother, and the Garden was forever closed to me? But here, to be asked is to do, and so I came to the Garden Wall. He still stood there, sword aflame, but now the fire purified and gave life instead of taking it away.
I entered, still dripping flame perhaps, and sought her in the cool of the day. She stood there between the trees, and I came before my Queen, bowing. "My Lady, " I said. Her hand caressed my once-withered cheek, and drew my face up to meet hers. She kissed me on both cheeks, throwing her blue-robed arms around my neck. "Welcome, dearest Mother and Daughter! Enter into your happiness!"
I looked at her, knowing her to be one of my children--after all, they all are. But in her eyes, I saw the Son, and knew her to be my Mother, as well as Daughter. Laughter, the laughter that spills out from extravagant grace, welled up in me. "Blessed are we among women, for we are both Daughter and Mother!"We laughed together, the stars in her crown twinkling merrily. "And all generations shall call us blessed, dear one."
She pulled my head onto her shoulder, and placed an arm around me, much as I had done to comfort my sons when they were small. "I know you,Mother-Daughter," she said, "for we have much the same heart." She pulled back a fold of blue, revealing a heart pierced with seven wounds as red as rubies, and shining with the rays of the sun--no, brighter than the sun's rays. "Dearest Mother-Daughter, I too have had a child who willed Himself to destruction. He went like a lamb to the slaughter, setting His heart towards death."
A tear like a crystal ocean fell onto her robe, andanother splashed my own cheek, and I tasted its sweetness. "I held the body of my Son, his blood staining my clothes deepest red. And it is through that body and that blood that you and your children have been freed." I remembered the body and blood of my son, of all my sons, and wept tears to match hers. But here, any tear that can be wept is one born of grace and joy, and such were ours. "And another gracious mystery is here, dear one," she whispered in my ear."Through that body and that blood, you and I are not onlyMother-Daughter." I looked up and saw her eyes sparkling like stars. "My Son has brought all into His family, and we are all children of His Father." I saw, and we fell into each other's embrace, whispering: "Sister!"
Copyright 2005. Elizabeth J. Weaver
Story II:
So many here now, so many children saved from darkness into light. I still wait for them at the gates: many think that a grand, white-bearded man guards the gates, but it is only my husband and myself. We wait for ourchildren to arrive, and now, instead of grieving for those who join us, we rejoice, and welcome them with tears of joy. But still...before, in the shadows, all of our children came, and if we grieved for their presence, at least we saw them. But now we see only some: we are told that the others fall into shadow still.
I do not weep for them: I understand that children must be free to choose. But oh, is there a mother whose heart is not pierced when her children choose their own destruction?
And one day--though all times are one--the last of my children came. I welcomed them with open arms and tears of joy--these I am free to weep over-- and my husband and I begged their pardon. All was joy and gladness, and yet...I still thought of the ones--my babies!--still in shadow.
Then I was called. "The Mother awaits you in the Garden," I was told. But how can this be, since I am The Mother, and the Garden was forever closed to me? But here, to be asked is to do, and so I came to the Garden Wall. He still stood there, sword aflame, but now the fire purified and gave life instead of taking it away.
I entered, still dripping flame perhaps, and sought her in the cool of the day. She stood there between the trees, and I came before my Queen, bowing. "My Lady, " I said. Her hand caressed my once-withered cheek, and drew my face up to meet hers. She kissed me on both cheeks, throwing her blue-robed arms around my neck. "Welcome, dearest Mother and Daughter! Enter into your happiness!"
I looked at her, knowing her to be one of my children--after all, they all are. But in her eyes, I saw the Son, and knew her to be my Mother, as well as Daughter. Laughter, the laughter that spills out from extravagant grace, welled up in me. "Blessed are we among women, for we are both Daughter and Mother!"We laughed together, the stars in her crown twinkling merrily. "And all generations shall call us blessed, dear one."
She pulled my head onto her shoulder, and placed an arm around me, much as I had done to comfort my sons when they were small. "I know you,Mother-Daughter," she said, "for we have much the same heart." She pulled back a fold of blue, revealing a heart pierced with seven wounds as red as rubies, and shining with the rays of the sun--no, brighter than the sun's rays. "Dearest Mother-Daughter, I too have had a child who willed Himself to destruction. He went like a lamb to the slaughter, setting His heart towards death."
A tear like a crystal ocean fell onto her robe, andanother splashed my own cheek, and I tasted its sweetness. "I held the body of my Son, his blood staining my clothes deepest red. And it is through that body and that blood that you and your children have been freed." I remembered the body and blood of my son, of all my sons, and wept tears to match hers. But here, any tear that can be wept is one born of grace and joy, and such were ours. "And another gracious mystery is here, dear one," she whispered in my ear."Through that body and that blood, you and I are not onlyMother-Daughter." I looked up and saw her eyes sparkling like stars. "My Son has brought all into His family, and we are all children of His Father." I saw, and we fell into each other's embrace, whispering: "Sister!"
Copyright 2005. Elizabeth J. Weaver
Wednesday, August 24
Ok, so I had an idea for a book, of sorts. Not a single storyline, but lots of storylines together. Anyone who knows my love of short stories will not be surprised by this. :)
Here's the first in the series. I have another one, but I'm waiting for some critiques on it before I post it anywhere public.
Eve: Story I
They say that there are some mothers who do not--even cannot-- love their children. Perhaps they are right, but I cannot fathom it. I am a mother, The Mother, and I love all my children. I watch them, every single one, as they enter here. Some see me, and wonder about the Grey One, who watches from the shadows, and wonder for whom she is searching, for whom she weeps.
But ah, I weep for all my sons, all my daughters. Not because I have lost them: oh no, if they had escaped me, I should be glad. But one by one, all join me here. And it is not grief enough that they join me in the shadows, but I must know that I brought them here. Brought them into life, and sealed their fate, to end here.
Oh, but I cannot help loving them, even the worst, the most rebellious. See that one? He killed his brother, then ran from home. This one was a prostitute, and brought her city to ruin. He, the lovely one over there, he did not love his own wife, slept with the wife of another man, then had that man killed. Yet, in spite of that, his heart was pure. My boy, my beautiful boy.
Yet, for all that I love them, all of them have broken my heart. I am sometimes amazed that it is still so prone to pain. After all, it must be in so many pieces by now that there is nothing left to break! But perhaps it is only justice: after all, it is I who broke their hearts, their souls, their bodies. Mea culpa, domine, mea culpa!
But one day--though all time is one here--there came one...my son, my beautiful son, though all my sons are beautiful to me. And though he was only one of many who noted my tears, he did not pass by in puzzlement, but stopped. He was shrouded, as they all are, in grey cloth and ashes. But as he neared, his eyes caught my own...I remember my first glimpse of the young sun, leaping up the sky for joy. My eyes were innocent then, and could behold his glory. but even the gold of the king of the heavens could not match the golden heat in the eyes of my son. I could not look away and could not but be consumed by his gaze.
I felt the rough cloth of his shroud wiping the constant tears from ym eyes, and a whisper: " Peace, Mother, I have come for you. Now is not my time, I must conquer first. Peace, Mother, and wait." I did not see him leave--my eyes were full of light and I saw nothing, not even shadows. So I waited.
Two days after--though all times are one--I heard a roar like none I had ever heard. One dead and clothed in the shroud of death had entered into the deepest shhadow, and there revealed himself to be a living man. Heavy with life, he was, and the light of him cast all else into shadow.
He split the depths, and came out a conqueror, his shroud turned into a banner of vistory. And he came, leading my husband by the hand, and our children--my babies!-- following behind. He saw me there, waiting for him, and smiled. "Woman," he said, "Now is my time. Come forth, for the Son calls you into the light."
I took the hand of my son, my beautiful boy who had escaped the Mother's curse, and stepped forth with him, blinking back tears at the light in my eyes.
Here's the first in the series. I have another one, but I'm waiting for some critiques on it before I post it anywhere public.
Eve: Story I
They say that there are some mothers who do not--even cannot-- love their children. Perhaps they are right, but I cannot fathom it. I am a mother, The Mother, and I love all my children. I watch them, every single one, as they enter here. Some see me, and wonder about the Grey One, who watches from the shadows, and wonder for whom she is searching, for whom she weeps.
But ah, I weep for all my sons, all my daughters. Not because I have lost them: oh no, if they had escaped me, I should be glad. But one by one, all join me here. And it is not grief enough that they join me in the shadows, but I must know that I brought them here. Brought them into life, and sealed their fate, to end here.
Oh, but I cannot help loving them, even the worst, the most rebellious. See that one? He killed his brother, then ran from home. This one was a prostitute, and brought her city to ruin. He, the lovely one over there, he did not love his own wife, slept with the wife of another man, then had that man killed. Yet, in spite of that, his heart was pure. My boy, my beautiful boy.
Yet, for all that I love them, all of them have broken my heart. I am sometimes amazed that it is still so prone to pain. After all, it must be in so many pieces by now that there is nothing left to break! But perhaps it is only justice: after all, it is I who broke their hearts, their souls, their bodies. Mea culpa, domine, mea culpa!
But one day--though all time is one here--there came one...my son, my beautiful son, though all my sons are beautiful to me. And though he was only one of many who noted my tears, he did not pass by in puzzlement, but stopped. He was shrouded, as they all are, in grey cloth and ashes. But as he neared, his eyes caught my own...I remember my first glimpse of the young sun, leaping up the sky for joy. My eyes were innocent then, and could behold his glory. but even the gold of the king of the heavens could not match the golden heat in the eyes of my son. I could not look away and could not but be consumed by his gaze.
I felt the rough cloth of his shroud wiping the constant tears from ym eyes, and a whisper: " Peace, Mother, I have come for you. Now is not my time, I must conquer first. Peace, Mother, and wait." I did not see him leave--my eyes were full of light and I saw nothing, not even shadows. So I waited.
Two days after--though all times are one--I heard a roar like none I had ever heard. One dead and clothed in the shroud of death had entered into the deepest shhadow, and there revealed himself to be a living man. Heavy with life, he was, and the light of him cast all else into shadow.
He split the depths, and came out a conqueror, his shroud turned into a banner of vistory. And he came, leading my husband by the hand, and our children--my babies!-- following behind. He saw me there, waiting for him, and smiled. "Woman," he said, "Now is my time. Come forth, for the Son calls you into the light."
I took the hand of my son, my beautiful boy who had escaped the Mother's curse, and stepped forth with him, blinking back tears at the light in my eyes.
Tuesday, August 23
Friday, August 19
DESOLATE
I finally came up with the perfect word to describe how I feel right now. "Depressed" is the wrong word: too emotional, and I'm emotionally drained. "Empty" is too simplistic. Desolate is just exactly right.
(BTW, to any family members reading this: NO, I don't want to talk about it.)
I was born a giving person. I always have been. But what do you do when what you have to give is not wanted, and every time you open your heart up, it gets thrown back in your face? If I don't give, I wither away, because it's part of who I am. But I'm tired of being hurt unproductively (I can take productive hurt all day long) every time I try.
I finally came up with the perfect word to describe how I feel right now. "Depressed" is the wrong word: too emotional, and I'm emotionally drained. "Empty" is too simplistic. Desolate is just exactly right.
(BTW, to any family members reading this: NO, I don't want to talk about it.)
I was born a giving person. I always have been. But what do you do when what you have to give is not wanted, and every time you open your heart up, it gets thrown back in your face? If I don't give, I wither away, because it's part of who I am. But I'm tired of being hurt unproductively (I can take productive hurt all day long) every time I try.
Saturday, July 30
This one is FRIGHTENINGLY ACCURATE:
Your Birthdate: July 16 |
Your birth on the 16th day of the month gives a sense of loneliness and generally the desire to work alone. You are relatively inflexible, and insist on your being independent. You need a good deal of time to rest and to meditate. You are introspective and a little stubborn. Because of this, it may not be easy for you to maintain permanent relationships, but you probably will as you are very much into home and family. This birth day inclines to interests in the technical, the scientific, and to the religious or the unknown realm of spiritual explorations. The date gives you a tendency to seek unusual approaches and makes your style seem a little different and unique to those around you. Your intuition is aided by the day of your birth, but most of your actions are bedded in logic, responsibility, and the rational approach. You may be emotional, but have a hard time expressing these emotions. Because of this, there may be some difficulty in giving or receiving affection. |
What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/">What Does Your Birth Date Mean?
Friday, July 29
A Live Coal in the Sea
I have been a fan of Madeleine L'Engle's since the moment I read the first sentence of Wrinkle in Time ("It was a dark and stormy night."), when I was about 10. I have read almost every book of hers I could get my hands on, and she has influenced my life and thought more than probably any other author.
So, when I was browsing in the library, and saw A Live Coal in the Sea, I decided to check it out. I was delighted to find, from reading the inner flap, that it concerned Camilla Dickinson, the heroine of an earlier L'engle book (Camilla: and be sure to read Camilla before Live Coal: otherwise the characters are a little harder to get used to. Camilla is a short, easy read). I began reading the book one night, thinking to start it and read until I got sleepy, then finish it in the morning.
I finished it, wiping away tears, at 2:30 am.
L'Engle is a powerful writer, but she is rarely in such amazing form. I don't think I have ever seen a clearer portrait of the grief that one person's selfishness and sin can cause to a family over several generations, nor a clearer picture of the grace and mercy of God in transforming such a situation.
The title comes from a quote from a source whose name I do not remember: “All the evil that man has ever conceived or done is no more to the mercy of God than a live coal to the sea.”
Selah.
I have been a fan of Madeleine L'Engle's since the moment I read the first sentence of Wrinkle in Time ("It was a dark and stormy night."), when I was about 10. I have read almost every book of hers I could get my hands on, and she has influenced my life and thought more than probably any other author.
So, when I was browsing in the library, and saw A Live Coal in the Sea, I decided to check it out. I was delighted to find, from reading the inner flap, that it concerned Camilla Dickinson, the heroine of an earlier L'engle book (Camilla: and be sure to read Camilla before Live Coal: otherwise the characters are a little harder to get used to. Camilla is a short, easy read). I began reading the book one night, thinking to start it and read until I got sleepy, then finish it in the morning.
I finished it, wiping away tears, at 2:30 am.
L'Engle is a powerful writer, but she is rarely in such amazing form. I don't think I have ever seen a clearer portrait of the grief that one person's selfishness and sin can cause to a family over several generations, nor a clearer picture of the grace and mercy of God in transforming such a situation.
The title comes from a quote from a source whose name I do not remember: “All the evil that man has ever conceived or done is no more to the mercy of God than a live coal to the sea.”
Selah.
Wednesday, July 20
Friday, June 24
STING - Brand new day - Front
Watching Music Videos at Work
Hooray for little free music video sites that let me listen to musc at work!
However, I've discovered that for some videos, I just have to stop work and watch. 2 in particular:
1. enya's Carribbean Blue. Just a lovely video.
2. Sting's "Desert Rose" because Sting is really hot. And I don't normally say that. But he is. Check out the posted photo for proof of this fact.
Yep.
Just a random thought.
Hooray for little free music video sites that let me listen to musc at work!
However, I've discovered that for some videos, I just have to stop work and watch. 2 in particular:
1. enya's Carribbean Blue. Just a lovely video.
2. Sting's "Desert Rose" because Sting is really hot. And I don't normally say that. But he is. Check out the posted photo for proof of this fact.
Yep.
Just a random thought.
Tuesday, June 21
The Most Discouraging Thing in the World:
Going home after a day of staring at the computer screen in your temp job, realizing that your apartment has lost any sense of "home," eating week-old leftovers for dinner with only your former roommate's sleepy hamster for company. Then add packing up all your stuff even though you really have nowhere to go, and the radio starting to play U2's "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own."
Yeah. It's been a great day.
Going home after a day of staring at the computer screen in your temp job, realizing that your apartment has lost any sense of "home," eating week-old leftovers for dinner with only your former roommate's sleepy hamster for company. Then add packing up all your stuff even though you really have nowhere to go, and the radio starting to play U2's "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own."
Yeah. It's been a great day.
|  | ||||
| |
Sunday, June 19
Thursday, June 16
 | You scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan. You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavly by John Wesley and the Methodists.
I find it funny that those three are my top scores....I mean, Wesleyan, Orthodox, and Catholic? That's funny. |
Tuesday, May 31
Memorial Day
My Memorial Day was great. Very ordinary, but lots of fun. Got a call from a friend at 9am to join him at Denny's for coffee and ice cream, so I hopped in the car and got there around 10. We chatted for awhile, simply being silly, then headed back to his house and played with the cat for a few minutes and watered the yard before hanging out by the pool for several hours. Eventually we managed to pry ourselves away long enough to head to the grocery store where we bought a feast: hot dog buns, weiners, and chipotyle mustard. We went back to lounging around the pool for awhile longer, waiting for the grill to heat up, and ate lunch around 4. We finally went inside, because I got sunburned rather badly, and talked there for awhile. Went back outside to watch the sunset, played guitar, and talked. Watched the stars come out till about 10:30. Saw a shooting star, a satellite, and what might have been a military aircraft. Both got sleepy, so I went home around 10:45.
Very nice ordinary relaxing day. Thanks be to God for good friends!
My Memorial Day was great. Very ordinary, but lots of fun. Got a call from a friend at 9am to join him at Denny's for coffee and ice cream, so I hopped in the car and got there around 10. We chatted for awhile, simply being silly, then headed back to his house and played with the cat for a few minutes and watered the yard before hanging out by the pool for several hours. Eventually we managed to pry ourselves away long enough to head to the grocery store where we bought a feast: hot dog buns, weiners, and chipotyle mustard. We went back to lounging around the pool for awhile longer, waiting for the grill to heat up, and ate lunch around 4. We finally went inside, because I got sunburned rather badly, and talked there for awhile. Went back outside to watch the sunset, played guitar, and talked. Watched the stars come out till about 10:30. Saw a shooting star, a satellite, and what might have been a military aircraft. Both got sleepy, so I went home around 10:45.
Very nice ordinary relaxing day. Thanks be to God for good friends!
Tuesday, May 24
Sunday, May 22
Thursday, May 5
Stolen from Liz's blog, who stole it from K. White, who stole it from.....You get the idea. I also stole some of the answers from Liz because they were good answers, and I'm just lazy like that.
100 questions
1. Full Name: If you don't know this, and you're reading my blog, I'm not telling you
2. Nick name: Joi, Joy-to-the-Weaver, Joyful, Hey You
4. Place of Birth: Fort Worth, Texas
5. Zodiac Sign: Cancer
6. Male or Female: guess
7. Grade: A
8. School: Biola
9. Occupation: cashier, research assistant, librarian
10. Location: Los Angeles, baby!
11. Screen Names: B8tsyJoi, tinidril_of_perelandra, Lone Jedi
__YOUR APPEARANCE___
12. Hair Color: um..hair-colored hair...Not sure what you'd call this.
13. Hair Length: almost to my waist. Woo! Just a few more feet to go!
14. Eye Color: Even my optometrist cannot answer this. Grayish-greenish-blue.
15. What eye color would you want: purple. But I'm kinda starting to really like the current color of my eyes.
16. Height: 5'6"?
17. What height would you rather be: I like my height, actually. I can reach most top shelves, but most guys are still taller than me. A happy medium.
18. Shoe Size: What are these "shoes" of which you speak?
19. Braces: nope
20. Glasses: When I'm not wearing my contacts
21. Piercings: ears
22. Tattoos: I have an allergy to metal, and possibly to ink as well. Not going to risk it. Besides, I'd get bored with an unchangeable design. It's all about the henna, baby.
23. Righty or Lefty: Mostly righty, but my left hand is pretty talented.
___YOUR FiRSTS___
24. What was the question? I don't know, but I'm sure the answer was 42!
((Where did question 25 go?))
26. First best friend: Probably the kid next door in Ft. Worth. I've forgotten his name...Shane, I think?
27. First Award: For best Bible memory, in VBS, when I was about 5. Wow. That was a while back.
28. First Sport You Joined: archery
29. First Pet: a very tolerant black and white cat
30. First Vacation: not a clue.
31. First Concert: Oh gosh, do I have to admit it? Carman. Yeah. Well, depends on what kind of concert you mean. Our town sponsored Community Concerts with unknown artists, and I went to lots of those as a kid.
32. First Love: see #26.
___ FAVORITES___
33. Movie: I can't pick just one!!! But if I had to....yeesh...Maybe Lord of the Rings? Maybe?
34. TV Show: Tough call between Firefly, Babylon 5, Futurama, the Simpsons, King of the Hill, Stargate, and Alias.
35. Color: the richest purple imaginable
36. Bands: Five Iron Frenzy, Leftover Salmon, Nickelback, Horustorus, getting to like Blind Guardian
37. Song: ?? Just one?? not a chance. (current favorite might be We Used to Be Friends, by the Dandy Warhols)
38. Food: dunno
39. Drink: dunno
40. Candy: yeesh, specializaton is for insects! Vive Variety!
41. Sport To Play: archery
42. Sport To Watch: baseball
43. Brand Of Clothing: Joi Weaver originals
44. Store: Art Supply Warehouse. Or Borders. Or Savers
45. School Subject: depends on the specific class and the teacher. Torrey in general, I guess...Classics.
46. Animal: Dragon and unicorn!
47. Book: Not a chance in hell of me picking just one. Not even within a genre. Not even a favorite genre!
___CURRENTLY___
49. Eating: Nothing. The librarians would shoot me.
50. Drinking: Nothing. See above.
51. Typing: umm........
53. Listening To: Joy to the World, by Three Dog Night ( *busts out singing* "Jeremiah was a bullfrog!")
54. Thinking About: Um...How many skips I have left on Launchcast radio at the moment....
55. Wanting To: SLEEP
56. Watching: my cursor move across the screen as I type this
57. Wearing: Don't you wish you knew! (Black tank top, black "goth sleeves", long green swishy skirt made from a tablecloth, black slip-on shoes, burgundy squashy hat)
___YOUR FUTURE___
58. Want Kids: maybe
59. Want to Get Married: I'm fine with either getting married or being single
60. Careers in Mind: research assistant
__WHiCH iS BETTER WiTH THE OPPOSiTE SEX___
67. Cute or Sexy: Cute.
68. Lips or Eyes: eyes
69. Hugs or Kisses: Again, what's with this having to choose??
70. Short or Tall: Tall. Short people have WAY too much energy
71. Easygoing or serious: both
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: Yes
73. Fatty or Skinny: I don't much care, but I seem to fall for skinny geeks quite a bit.
74. Sensitive or Loud: Who says the two are mutually exclusive?
75. Hook-up or Relationship: relationship
76. Sweet or Caring: caring
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: Both.
___HAVE YOU EVER___
78. Kissed a Stranger: no
79. Drank Alcohol: yes
80. Smoked: nope
81. Ran Away From Home: nope
82. Broken a Bone: no
83. Got an X-ray: several times, for my teeth
84. Broke Up With Someone: no
85. Broken Someone's Heart: not that I know of
86. Turned Someone Down: nope
87. Cried When Someone Died: I think so....
88. Cried At School: yes
___DO YOU BELIEVE IN___
89. God: yes
90. Miracles: yes
91. Love At First Sight: that's a little more complex...I think so...
92. Ghosts: Sort of
93. Aliens: Yes, actually.
94. Soul Mates: um...not sure...lots of little red Symposium flags go up when I hear the term....
95. Heaven: yes
96. Hell: yes
98. Kissing on The First Date: ???? How is this a thing to believe in????
99. Horoscopes: nope, but they're a hoot to read!
___ANSWER TRUTHFULLY___
100. Is There Someone You Want Right Now But Cant Have? Um...Don't know about "can't," per se.....
100 questions
1. Full Name: If you don't know this, and you're reading my blog, I'm not telling you
2. Nick name: Joi, Joy-to-the-Weaver, Joyful, Hey You
4. Place of Birth: Fort Worth, Texas
5. Zodiac Sign: Cancer
6. Male or Female: guess
7. Grade: A
8. School: Biola
9. Occupation: cashier, research assistant, librarian
10. Location: Los Angeles, baby!
11. Screen Names: B8tsyJoi, tinidril_of_perelandra, Lone Jedi
__YOUR APPEARANCE___
12. Hair Color: um..hair-colored hair...Not sure what you'd call this.
13. Hair Length: almost to my waist. Woo! Just a few more feet to go!
14. Eye Color: Even my optometrist cannot answer this. Grayish-greenish-blue.
15. What eye color would you want: purple. But I'm kinda starting to really like the current color of my eyes.
16. Height: 5'6"?
17. What height would you rather be: I like my height, actually. I can reach most top shelves, but most guys are still taller than me. A happy medium.
18. Shoe Size: What are these "shoes" of which you speak?
19. Braces: nope
20. Glasses: When I'm not wearing my contacts
21. Piercings: ears
22. Tattoos: I have an allergy to metal, and possibly to ink as well. Not going to risk it. Besides, I'd get bored with an unchangeable design. It's all about the henna, baby.
23. Righty or Lefty: Mostly righty, but my left hand is pretty talented.
___YOUR FiRSTS___
24. What was the question? I don't know, but I'm sure the answer was 42!
((Where did question 25 go?))
26. First best friend: Probably the kid next door in Ft. Worth. I've forgotten his name...Shane, I think?
27. First Award: For best Bible memory, in VBS, when I was about 5. Wow. That was a while back.
28. First Sport You Joined: archery
29. First Pet: a very tolerant black and white cat
30. First Vacation: not a clue.
31. First Concert: Oh gosh, do I have to admit it? Carman. Yeah. Well, depends on what kind of concert you mean. Our town sponsored Community Concerts with unknown artists, and I went to lots of those as a kid.
32. First Love: see #26.
___ FAVORITES___
33. Movie: I can't pick just one!!! But if I had to....yeesh...Maybe Lord of the Rings? Maybe?
34. TV Show: Tough call between Firefly, Babylon 5, Futurama, the Simpsons, King of the Hill, Stargate, and Alias.
35. Color: the richest purple imaginable
36. Bands: Five Iron Frenzy, Leftover Salmon, Nickelback, Horustorus, getting to like Blind Guardian
37. Song: ?? Just one?? not a chance. (current favorite might be We Used to Be Friends, by the Dandy Warhols)
38. Food: dunno
39. Drink: dunno
40. Candy: yeesh, specializaton is for insects! Vive Variety!
41. Sport To Play: archery
42. Sport To Watch: baseball
43. Brand Of Clothing: Joi Weaver originals
44. Store: Art Supply Warehouse. Or Borders. Or Savers
45. School Subject: depends on the specific class and the teacher. Torrey in general, I guess...Classics.
46. Animal: Dragon and unicorn!
47. Book: Not a chance in hell of me picking just one. Not even within a genre. Not even a favorite genre!
___CURRENTLY___
49. Eating: Nothing. The librarians would shoot me.
50. Drinking: Nothing. See above.
51. Typing: umm........
53. Listening To: Joy to the World, by Three Dog Night ( *busts out singing* "Jeremiah was a bullfrog!")
54. Thinking About: Um...How many skips I have left on Launchcast radio at the moment....
55. Wanting To: SLEEP
56. Watching: my cursor move across the screen as I type this
57. Wearing: Don't you wish you knew! (Black tank top, black "goth sleeves", long green swishy skirt made from a tablecloth, black slip-on shoes, burgundy squashy hat)
___YOUR FUTURE___
58. Want Kids: maybe
59. Want to Get Married: I'm fine with either getting married or being single
60. Careers in Mind: research assistant
__WHiCH iS BETTER WiTH THE OPPOSiTE SEX___
67. Cute or Sexy: Cute.
68. Lips or Eyes: eyes
69. Hugs or Kisses: Again, what's with this having to choose??
70. Short or Tall: Tall. Short people have WAY too much energy
71. Easygoing or serious: both
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: Yes
73. Fatty or Skinny: I don't much care, but I seem to fall for skinny geeks quite a bit.
74. Sensitive or Loud: Who says the two are mutually exclusive?
75. Hook-up or Relationship: relationship
76. Sweet or Caring: caring
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: Both.
___HAVE YOU EVER___
78. Kissed a Stranger: no
79. Drank Alcohol: yes
80. Smoked: nope
81. Ran Away From Home: nope
82. Broken a Bone: no
83. Got an X-ray: several times, for my teeth
84. Broke Up With Someone: no
85. Broken Someone's Heart: not that I know of
86. Turned Someone Down: nope
87. Cried When Someone Died: I think so....
88. Cried At School: yes
___DO YOU BELIEVE IN___
89. God: yes
90. Miracles: yes
91. Love At First Sight: that's a little more complex...I think so...
92. Ghosts: Sort of
93. Aliens: Yes, actually.
94. Soul Mates: um...not sure...lots of little red Symposium flags go up when I hear the term....
95. Heaven: yes
96. Hell: yes
98. Kissing on The First Date: ???? How is this a thing to believe in????
99. Horoscopes: nope, but they're a hoot to read!
___ANSWER TRUTHFULLY___
100. Is There Someone You Want Right Now But Cant Have? Um...Don't know about "can't," per se.....
Wednesday, May 4
And here we go again...
Yeah, still dealing with my friends leaving. Some days I do ok with it, some days not so much so. But it was a good bit of comfort to discuss it with my spiritual director the other day. While talking with her, I finally grew convinced of something. Even now, it seems weird and prideful to say this, but I think it's true.
I used to think that I shouldn't have abandonment issues, since my parents never divorced and my mom stayed at home with myself and my sister. Usually it's kids whose parents have split up or worked constantly that have these issues, so I've always assumed I was just kidding myself. But maybe it's healthy to admit that I have these issues, rather than continually denying them, assuming that I shouldn't have them. If I have these issues, then they're there, regardless of how they got there.
I am so tired of friends leaving. They always leave. When I was little, all my friends moved away from Fort Worth; I was the last one to leave. We moved to Hereford, and went to First Baptist church there. I made friends and enjoyed it. Then we started going to another church, and I didn't see my friends after that. My best friend, the pastor's daughter, never spoke to me again. After a few years at the other church, we switched back, and I began to make friends again. The previous church had been terrible, and I was horribly lonely. The youth pastor and his wife at FBC were wonderful people, and did a lot to make me feel welcome. Then, just over a year after moving back to that church, we moved to Dumas, and I lost all my friends over again. I never made too many friends in Dumas, I was too odd, and wasn't particularly acceptable. Of the friends I did make, I rarely speak to any of them.
I came to college and made a new group of friends. Who, for some reason, decided to stop talking to me and including me about 2 years later. So I made another group of friends. Who stabbed me in the back, and decided that I wasn't worth talking to when I wasn't of any use. So I moved to another group of friends, who are all now leaving. They say they'll stay in contact, but I have my doubts. Actually, the doubts are all I have. I simply don't believe that it's true. I've seen what happens to college friendships when you no longer live close by: the other person becomes just a name on a mass-produced Christmas letter that you get in February. If they're an especially good friend, you might see a little hand-written note at the bottom of the mass-produced letter.
Bitter? Yeah, a little. I think what gets to me the most is this: In Torrey, one of the big focuses is community. So everybody learns the importance of community, and blathers about it nonstop, about how they're going to build community in the areas they move to...But no-one stays to preserve the community here. I'm not saying that everyone has to stay--that would be a bit counter-productive. But it seems like no-one stays. And I know that my priorities are different from other people's: the other day, one of my friends mentioned that there's nothing for her here anymore, except church and a few friends. Church and a few friends are my main reasons for staying here, so that reply caught me a little off-guard.
And this post is now far too long, so I'll stop here.
Yeah, still dealing with my friends leaving. Some days I do ok with it, some days not so much so. But it was a good bit of comfort to discuss it with my spiritual director the other day. While talking with her, I finally grew convinced of something. Even now, it seems weird and prideful to say this, but I think it's true.
I used to think that I shouldn't have abandonment issues, since my parents never divorced and my mom stayed at home with myself and my sister. Usually it's kids whose parents have split up or worked constantly that have these issues, so I've always assumed I was just kidding myself. But maybe it's healthy to admit that I have these issues, rather than continually denying them, assuming that I shouldn't have them. If I have these issues, then they're there, regardless of how they got there.
I am so tired of friends leaving. They always leave. When I was little, all my friends moved away from Fort Worth; I was the last one to leave. We moved to Hereford, and went to First Baptist church there. I made friends and enjoyed it. Then we started going to another church, and I didn't see my friends after that. My best friend, the pastor's daughter, never spoke to me again. After a few years at the other church, we switched back, and I began to make friends again. The previous church had been terrible, and I was horribly lonely. The youth pastor and his wife at FBC were wonderful people, and did a lot to make me feel welcome. Then, just over a year after moving back to that church, we moved to Dumas, and I lost all my friends over again. I never made too many friends in Dumas, I was too odd, and wasn't particularly acceptable. Of the friends I did make, I rarely speak to any of them.
I came to college and made a new group of friends. Who, for some reason, decided to stop talking to me and including me about 2 years later. So I made another group of friends. Who stabbed me in the back, and decided that I wasn't worth talking to when I wasn't of any use. So I moved to another group of friends, who are all now leaving. They say they'll stay in contact, but I have my doubts. Actually, the doubts are all I have. I simply don't believe that it's true. I've seen what happens to college friendships when you no longer live close by: the other person becomes just a name on a mass-produced Christmas letter that you get in February. If they're an especially good friend, you might see a little hand-written note at the bottom of the mass-produced letter.
Bitter? Yeah, a little. I think what gets to me the most is this: In Torrey, one of the big focuses is community. So everybody learns the importance of community, and blathers about it nonstop, about how they're going to build community in the areas they move to...But no-one stays to preserve the community here. I'm not saying that everyone has to stay--that would be a bit counter-productive. But it seems like no-one stays. And I know that my priorities are different from other people's: the other day, one of my friends mentioned that there's nothing for her here anymore, except church and a few friends. Church and a few friends are my main reasons for staying here, so that reply caught me a little off-guard.
And this post is now far too long, so I'll stop here.
Thursday, April 28
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